dear goldberg

wake n bake on long island, back in mass i am going to stand menacingly outside of your door and pump my fist into an open palm like trina because i am a bad bitch. u ready?

ik

i cried when that glass broke and i turned a deaf ear, i should have just given him a granola bar

aah

i only ever want to see fireworks while rolling, tripping, etc downhill if possible, stairs even better

twoo

it's two when there is a mirror, now i see it, now it;s ok, i decided to look. will you visit my city when i have a city. i'll never visit all of your cities, there are too many.

fish

i would rather walk around and be miserable than carry this fish in my pocket, stupid

king leopold

why don't you just pay me in bagels

ttp

today i ate like 20 saltines a piece of toast and drank a liter of ginger ale, time to party

savage

she likes to dance and usually when she does you can tell that she means it by the look on her face, scrunched up nose, pursed lips but not angry, a little bit sassy, all i want to do is listen to soulja boy and ask you to let me see your hips swing, i wanna see your hips swing

monday

im eating purple and green ones and i probably picked them myself, i am proud, but even still i am not that interested in sharing but no one would blame me for that

hhh

my friend miguel he says consciously trying to not be cray cray is the hardest
miguel what does that even mean i had to refer to “the streets”
really crazy but in code it’s slang
that made me feel old or uncool or something
but you’re older so what gives

miguel he said that you don’t have to do nothing you don’t want to do
well nothing appeals to me, least of all MPB
ha ha stuff, he said don’t do it and i said of course i won’t i am very nice
also if word gets out then that would be embarrassing

wings

she knocked on my door and was like hey could i get a beer for the wings delivery guy so i gave her a pbr for the wings delivery guy

tonight

tonight i am sleeping with you doug

s

i am not into any of that goofy monty python shitt

hi high

california, wyoming, colorado, iowa, illinois, new york

nevada, utah, nebraska, indiana, pennsylvania, new jersey, bleghh

ddddd

im gonna make it alive out of whyoming i can feel it but you never know

uh

that's hella cutty, do you know what i mean

misdemeanor

it's a fact the freaks love to get slapped, i don't wanna go to jail

help

i didn't know how ambiguous the lyrics "money's comin slow but my wheels keep spinnin" would be. at least i think those are the lyrics. i heard a song when i was driving yesterday and i tried googling those lyrics but a million other songs about rims and spinnin and tippin came up and i can't find the song that i heard. help me please

cousin juancho

she hasn't seen cousin juancho in 8 years and she only saw him 8 years ago because of a coincidence on a plane back to where they are from and before that they hadn't seen each other in 20 years and now they are going to lunch to catch up or whatever family members feel obligated to do when they lose touch and don't really care and then cousin juancho stared at my legs, JUANCHO, did you think i wouldn't notice?

hot shit

i spent approx 15 minutes trying to kill the biggest mosquito these eyes have ever seen by throwing two pairs of shoes at it and using a swifter and then mom and dad came home and he killed it in a minute flat thanks dad. that didn't happen it's actually a metaphor for something much bigger so think about it. also i did the math last night because i couldn't fall asleep and it could be like a lil wayne song.

pop punk

the person you complain to ur friends about when the cutesy text messages stop ??

august

the only person who doesn't fail me is gilad and i don't even feel bad about that or whatever. i hang out with him every day and i feel great, thanks gilad. also nephew has returned and he presented me with a business proposition and i don't feel bad about that either, i think the only people i need are gilad and nephew and maybe the girl who kicked on the last one when she was only supposed to add a double knee

:)

how come all of a sudden i have a really vivid memory of me wearing a sarong to middle school and it may have even been a sarong over a pair of jeans ooh

selena

ANYTHING FOR SELENAS

coño

coño man look we could burn right quick in the car and whatever and he was like mira can you hook me up and also ask hernan about columbia and see what he says he's crazy then he asked me if i could teach him how to talk to girls NEPHEW

mierda

it was a combination of feeling really awkward and you having a slight speech impediment. but i mean don't get me wrong i bet you're nice i'm just saying that i had a lousy time.

what

am i brain dead or what
also can we stop fooling around and get serious because that would be better

mail

i got a letter from myself but forgot i wrote it good thing i didn't get mad at anyone

oops

oh god there wasn't even milk for my cereal :'(

dear diary

dear diary

i am drinking a beer oh and i didn't sit down for 15 hours or something and now i can't tell if i am tired or if i feel drunk after half a beer what do you think

ps i have a crush on a boy in my math class more details later

haha

before

i used to be in love and i called her denver but i don't know what she called herself

did you catch the joke in there it was very witty

ok

i am going to eat bowls and bowls of fruity sugar cereal and get so fat and have all myteeth fall out and then every day i will smile wide and everyone would smile back to be polite because how can you be rude to a fat person with no teeth. also there was this big woman in a multicolored mu mu and she took the manager aside and said this salad is beautiful and it was made with love. and this weekend i had my cheeks pinched a lot by 16 year old girls and then i walked outside and saw what is underneath so i covered my eyes with my hands.

long island

there are like five feet in my mouth it is a weird sensation and it turns out that he didn't actually buy that weed. it was a gift. christmas was in DECEMBER

because

you said so

i dunno if you know but i wish my bed were smaller and didn't tease me every night because when i sleep here it is hard to not think of how there was that one night during the winter when i got to share it

AM

i have heart burn

thursday in new york

i felt a little bit alone so i took all of the things we knew together and put them in a box, covered my eyes with my hands like someone told me to and then opened the box and felt a little surprised and happy but not too surprised because i knew what was inside and i guess it made me feel ok.

weekend

i dunno i was going to give you flowers or something but i thought you would make me feel dumb about it so i didn't

tuesday (monday really)

that's bananas and i am going to turn my brain off ok is that ok
but rEALLY that was very out of character
buhhhuhhh

saturday

tonight was good when i drank beers
i walked around to different places but nowhere in particular
and i liked that
would you like it
if i gave you another beer
because i would do that if you asked me
you would not even have to ask particularly nicely
because i am willing and i think that is ok
but please let me know if it is not ok
because that would be ok too

well you remind me of several things
namely of beyonce or something
well no just kidding that’s way off
but that’s all i can think of right now
is that ok
because i hope it is ok

but you make me a little bit nervous
but then you said that i made you nervous by being nervous
so maybe next time i will ask if you want another beer
maybe that wouldn’t solve anything but i think we would be less nervous


dead prez was fun

this morning

today is looking good considering i ate raspberry jam today, yes

ok

lately

i finished some things and it felt good
i missed the bus and it felt good
there was a cloud and it felt good
buy 2 get 1 and it felt good
i laid there and it felt good
presidente will taste good

oh

oh i dunno we'll see what happens

last night

last night i got a million spider bites on my side and my ribs and oh no. today i will ride my bike because it is sunny. tomorrow is a mystery . . . . .. .. .. ...... maybe i will drink a beer but maybe not. i probably won't eat jam of any variety but that is ok i guess. also i just drrank vapor distilled water with electrolytes and it made me less thirsty than i was before i drank it but my cells feel the same. maybe my expectations were too high. i think the water made me feel nauseated but maybe not. haha


**edit** my approximation of a million bites was very off because i counted and i only have 6

today

today i did not eat raspberry jam although i wish that i did